Let’s face it. Being a new mom is tough. Babies are time consuming, inconvenient, and down right tiresome. An interesting situation occurred this week. I called my kid a jerk. Not to her face, but as I was rushing to get to class on time. My Monday morning was hijacked by my cranky girl and I didn’t get it. She usually wakes up very happy with a huge smile on her face, so it threw me off that she was anything but. All of my attempts to calm her down wasn’t working, my husband was gone to work already, and the sitter was running a bit late. My morning ritual was doomed that day, however it got me to thinking. I called my baby a jerk..and I laughed at myself. Most mothers would not approve of this at all, but hey, that’s how I was feeling at the time. I wasn’t thinking ‘Hey, she’s just a baby, she doesn’t know better’. I was thinking ‘I haven’t had my coffee, my face isn’t done, and I’m gonna be late to class’.
Society makes mothers feel like they can’t have a negative thought towards their children. That’s unfortunate. Basically, I’m supposed to be a robot when it comes to my girl. Well, not me.I don’t want to have to start lying to myself about anything, especially when it comes to her. I’m not saying to be a meanie to your kids. I’m just saying…it happens. We get flustered. Frustrated. Irritable. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. It doesn’t even make you a bad person. It just makes you human. I’m still working on the patience thing, so it’s bound to happen from time to time. It’s okay not to like your kid sometimes and it’s okay to say it. If anything, your mommy friends will understand you completely. They may even give you kudos for being real with them.
When I got back from class, I came home to the biggest smile from my girl and I laughed again. If anyone was the jerk, it was me. Sometimes, even most times, things don’t go according to plan when there is a baby involved. I’m learning that, still; and that’s okay.