#itscharlie

So my blog has been all about how this magnificent little girl has come in and turned my life upside down. It has been about the struggles I’ve faced since her birth. It has been about the importance of remaining true to myself and doing what works for me.

Well, here she is. These pictures are so amazing.

The thing is, I remember every single picture. Every single moment. I remember the emotions I felt when I gave birth to this incredibly wonderful, frustrating, hilarious little person. I didn’t know how to love her. It took time, and I had to realize that was okay.

When I was rocking her to sleep, I just looked at her. She was looking at me with the same intense look, almost like she was looking into my soul. Then it hit me.

She trusts me. She completely trusts me. Without doubt, she knows who I am. She feels my love, and I feel hers. What’s so amazing is that the same way I had to get used to her, she had to get used to me too. What an incredible feeling to have someone love you raw. They don’t know your past. They don’t know the things you’ve done. It’s like you get a clean slate. Like, you get to do things right.

So here she is, my heart. My Charlie.

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Nice…sorta.

Being a new mom sucks.

Of course not because of the beautiful life that you’ve brought into this crazy world, but because of the endless, kinda mean advice you get from other people. They give, what I like to call, “nice-nasty” advice. What is “nice-nasty” you ask? Well, it’s just that. They give you their opinion in a nice, acceptable tone. However, it tends to be the things you just shouldn’t say. The comments that are borderline rude.

I’ve gotten this kind of advice about everything from breastfeeding (which I no longer do, so why am I still getting this one?) to television watching to solid food.

So now my girl is a mover and a shaker to the nth power. She is a powerhouse who moves at her own pace, which happens to be fast. It’s so hard to keep up with her! So, the books are not quite going her speed or for other moms with “sound” advice. She started baby food and that was a big deal to a mom a know. Our style of parenting is totally different, which is fine, it’s just not for me. My girl hit another month, so of course I had to post it. In the post I mentioned she liked carrots. Let me give you an example or “nice-nasy”…

“She’s 6 months already?! Time flies!”

Now. I clearly stated how old she was in the post. So, she knows that my baby isn’t 6 months. She basically said ” It’s too early to start solids” without saying it. See? Nice-nasty…and totally uncalled for.

Even in the tone of their voice, people can be “nice-nasty”.

Apparently you are the mother who eats her young if you let your kid watch television. I guess my Charlie is served with my favorite glass of wine because I let her watch Elmo and the gang.

Look, if I am trying to put a load of clothes on put some chicken in the oven, then on comes Elmo! As sick as I a of hearing the Elmo’s World theme song, it helps me out tremendously! It keeps her distracted for a bit while I manage the rest of my home. It’s multi-tasking at its finest.

“You let her watch TV??” “She’s too young.” “That’s not a good for her.”

I can’t and I won’t apologize for how I get things done. Being a full-time student, a full-time wife, and a full-time mom is perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to do simultaneously. The mommy shamming is real, and what’s worst, some people don’t even realize they are being rude.

Don’t let anyone tell you your way is wrong.  Like the old saying goes, ” If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it”.

Life Doesn’t Stop

Having a kid is something I am honestly still trying to get used to. Its been almost six months since I brought my girl home from the hospital. So many changes since that day we walked in the door with our new baby.

Being a new momma is scary. You have no idea what to do; you get iffy advice from people whether you want it or not. What you do know however is that your life is changed forever. I can’t tell you how many time I have heard “Your life is never going to be the same”. That simple statement put a fear in me that was up there with the fear of God. How was it going to change? For the better? For the worst? Would me and my husband still like each other? Will I start wearing mom jeans and sneakers as my OOTD? Will my life as Erica come to a screeching halt? Let everyone tell you…yes. What I found out for myself…hell no.

I went zip lining the other day with one of my dearest friends and we had the time of our lives! I told my mother that I was going zipping and she was not so happy to say the least. “You have a baby now. You shouldn’t do those dangerous things anymore.” As much as I “understood” where she was coming from, I decided to do it anyway and I’m so happy I did. That first leap was the best. I was nervous, shaking so bad people could see it. My initial thought was “What the hell am I doing here”. Then, I thought of my girl. I want her to be proud to have a mom who isn’t afraid to do uncomfortable things. I want to show her how to be fearless. I want her to go for whatever she wants to do in life.

I can’t let the fact that I have a baby stop me from living the life I want. If anything, I want the fact that I have a baby push me even harder to live!

Yes, my life did change, but not the way everyone said. You have to make up in your mind to define your story; define your life. Being a mother doesn’t mean you don’t exist as a person anymore. It’s okay to thrown on those 4-inch heels, the most fabulous lip you can get your hands on, and your best pair of skinnies to show off those baby curves. If that what you did before, keep on keepin’ on!

So many moms are shamed because they want to stay true to themselves. “It’s selfish” they say. “It’s not about you anymore”. Well, that’s bull because it is about you. If you can’t thrive at being you, how can you possibly expect to thrive as a mother?

Think about it..